Writer of fiction, poetry, etc - based in Vancouver BC
In the interest of building a social media presence, I am going to try to post new stuff online on a regular basis from now on. I’m doing this now, because I’m going to Expozine in Montreal in a week, and I want to actually have a web presence I can direct people too, and maybe even a web page, so that when people follow the link on the cards I’m getting made they will actually arrive somewhere.
I won't say I'll do this once a day, because that's a promise I won't be able to keep. But regularly. I want to actually have, as I said about, a presence. As a writer. I want to be putting out content that people will be reading.
Some of it will be alright; some of it will be awful. Hopefully it inspires some people to keep reading. A lot of it will be diary like—free-form stuff. Like this. Most of it will probably be a bit like this. Sometimes it'll be poetry; sometimes it'll be drafts from stories I'm working on; or outlines. I’m not sure. I just know I need to keep stuff coming if I want to exist on here in any meaningful way.
I've previously tried to get my foot in the door the traditional way. Submitting stuff to journals, small presses, waiting six months for a rejection letter. Because of my personality, and the odd kind of writing I produce, and because it is also just very hard in general, I find this like pulling teeth. So I'm trying a more self promotional route. Because, (on top of what I said above), I am also starting to believe that, with such an approach, the best I can probably hope for is to be a minor blip on the CanLit radar by the time I'm sixty, with a small handful of what I’d done published. And I'll probably have to heavily change the sort of writing I do, over time, to get there. Not just kill my darlings but cut bits off their corpses and remake them in the industry’s image.
I don't really want to change the stuff I do: I like the stuff I do. That's not to say I'm not open to critique, I am, but I know I do not fit in that box mentioned above, and I don't really want to contort myself so that I do. I write for pleasure, basically—and that would feel awful. I’d rather stop writing entirely than turn it into something that feels awful. And I know I’m not going to stop writing.
So. Here I am.
No, this is not the best thing you've ever read. I promise it will be better, sometimes. But just so you know what to expect.
I'm looking into self publishing. I mean to self publish a couple of poetry collections in the near future. I have a novella I'm trying to finish too. Hopefully I'll still be able to get my foot through the traditional door with some other stuff--yes, I write too much. I know. I feel like I'm drowning in it sometimes. I can't help doing it. It gives my life meaning.
There have been times when literally the only reason I've gotten out of bed in the morning is because I have something I'm writing, and I want to get back to it. I love it. I'm married to it.
I am afraid that I won't care if it gets out to the world, because it means so much to me and it doesn't matter if it's only mine alone, it still means that much. But I would rather make some kind of imprint. Because even if writing is an end, what is writing for but sharing? You don't tell a story to a wall. You tell a story to people. Often I only tell it to myself. I am even writing this to myself. Is there anyone reading this? Not yet. Too soon to call. Doesn't matter.
I am on the SkyTrain, writing this on the way home from work. I work in a BC Liquor Store in Richmond. Sometimes I really do write on the back of unclaimed receipts, but I do that less now. It's a form of desperation. It makes the span of time less brutally empty.
Let’s see how long I keep this up.
P.S. I know there are typos.